literature

Fool in Love [Levi x Reader]

Deviation Actions

Published: Aug 15, 2014

38.2K Views

Literature Text

The room was eerily quiet as Levi made his way across the tiled floor, bare feet making no noise in the dead of night, candle-holder held loosely yet securely in his hand. The small bead of a flame quivered atop the wick, trembling faintly in the dust-free air of the Captain’s office. Levi reached the excessively large mahogany desk with taut silence and a held breath—he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing here, sneaking into his own office like some teenager up to no good.

But he knew, that he had to face it. There was a light tap as he placed down the candleholder with the utmost care. He reached for a file—the only one laying there in the centre of the desk, perfectly aligned with the edge of the tabletop. He exhaled a low, measured breath as he read over the title, which was printed neatly at the top of the thick file cover.

Possible candidates for Special Operations Squad
Team Leader: Levi

Unwittingly, a hiss escaped his teeth. He slowly hunched over, palms flattening on the desk. Even though he had sworn not to allow himself to get attached again—he couldn’t help it. His team; Eld, Gunther, Oluo, Petra; had inevitably grown on him. After so many expeditions together, he knew he could place his faith in them. And now they were gone, and he had no choice but to replace them, like the expendable soldiers everyone within the walls thought they were.

His fist clenched. When a cadet had nervously delivered the file to him earlier in the afternoon, he had not let his inner thoughts slip through the solid mask over his features, but now that he was alone—anger rippled through him, like the small, warning laps of the ocean before the tsunami hit.

Levi reached forward and snatched something up from the desk—cold and slightly rounded, most probably his ink bottle—and hurled it at the opposite wall. The object made a satisfying smash against the stone, and the tinkle of scattering glass filled the stagnant silence. He was breathing hard as he straightened up, the delight of breaking something beginning to rush through his system like newfound liberty.

Mechanically, he lifted another item from the desk. He felt its weight in his hand—quite heavy, and cold as steel. A paperweight? Without a second thought, it flew out of his hand with a snap and hit the stone wall with a sharp crack as the thick glass splintered, falling to the floor in chunks. Every time he picked up something else to throw, to break, different faces flashed through his mind. They weren’t even limited to his old teammates, either. Before he knew it, he was tracing the details of every person he had ever seen die in this messed-up world. When startlingly familiar hazel eyes, followed closely by green eyes—which were still sharp and lively, even now, in his own mind years later—a grunt escaped his lips, as he threw something else, anything, at the wall. Anger had pent-up inside him like a spring coiled too tight, and it was time to let it free.

‘Why—’ He snarled as he kicked over the chair behind the desk. ‘Does everyone—keep—fucking—dying?’ He continued to spit, every word accompanied by a harsh blow to the underside of the chair until it finally cracked, fracturing along the edges where the pieces of carved wood met. With a vicious growl, he struck the largest part of the chair with his foot, and it smacked against the wall, masking the normally distinct sound of the door opening.

‘Levi!’ He ignored the voice, the beautifully feminine voice he had heard crying out in fear and pain within his deepest, darkest nightmares. Instead, he picked up pieces of the pale wooden chair and flung them at the wall, the burn of his muscles and the crack of wood on stone gently numbing his mind.

‘Levi, Levi, stop—’ Your voice was closer now, a sweet, desperate murmur for him to cease his actions. Slowly, very slowly, he complied. His hands dropped to hang at his sides like dead weight, and he felt his body sag with emotional exhaustion.

He was vaguely aware of the grip you had on his elbows, gently but firmly steering him towards his own bed. The back of his legs hit the edge of the mattress and he sat slowly, sinking into the material. He said nothing as you carefully pushed your knees between his, permitting you to stand just that much closer to him. Now in front of him, you lifted your hands and gently cupped his face, tilting it upwards to meet your eyes.

He was reluctant at first, but he finally blinked empty, slate-grey eyes in your direction, locking onto your encouraging gaze. His breath caught in his throat, and as the thing in his chest gave a painful lurch, his vision tainted red, blurring softly. His mouth filled with a bitter taste, and he opened it, desperate for anything to rid the tang of blood and regret.

'I—' He tried to say, but all that came out from his paper-dry mouth was a short breath. He wanted to blink, to clear the blur in his vision, but the rims of his eyes were burning—a feeling he had never experienced before—and the way you were looking at him, with such tender acceptance, was not a look he could bear to lose sight of.
But, he let his eyelids slide shut, locking out the one view that kept his nights sane. It was only then that he became conscious of your fingers running along his cheekbones, delicately and diligently wiping at something there. His hands had moved of their own accord to softly grip your hips, as though unconsciously anchoring himself to you.

'I can't,' he finally whispered hoarsely, only seeing the darkness of the world behind his eyelids, refusing to look at your pretty face. Because with one look, he knew all his resolution would come crashing down. 'I love you,' he breathed, the emotion behind the words uncharacteristically thick. 'But I can't.'

There was a small silence as your fingers stilled on his face. Levi clenched his jaw, and willed his own digits to be motionless against the terribly tempting skin of your hips.

'Can't what?' You asked carefully, your tone light in an attempt to disguise the serious note beneath the words.

'Love you,' he said with a short, harsh laugh. His eyes snapped open despite the dry burn of his lower lids, and he fixed his gaze on your right earlobe, shamelessly avoiding your eyes.
'I was an idiot to fall in love; a fool.' The bitterness in his mouth had tainted his words, giving them a harsh undertone.
'I'll only hurt me, and,' he forced his eyes to shift up, along your cheekbone and then to meet the steadiness of your gaze. 'I'll only hurt you,' he finished softly, now unable to take his eyes off yours.

He wanted to scream. You were doing that thing, where his purposefully harsh and knife-sharp tone did not faze you in the slightest. You blinked, and let a soft breath exhale through your nostrils. There was a small crease between your eyebrows, and the eyes below them were subdued, as well as laced with a touch of sorrow.

You breathed in, parting your lips. The pads of your thumbs ran across his cheekbones again, unconsciously relaxing his mind and his heart.
'A fool in love makes no sense to me,' you said calmly, and Levi blinked, impatient for you to elaborate. 'I only think you are a fool if you do not love.'

His brow furrowed, fingers tightening on your hips. In all seriousness, he had expected you to have run by now, or at least to have cried or questioned him. But, in his heart of hearts, he knew that the overwhelming beauty about you that had sent him falling hard in the first place, was that there was this unwavering strength about you. That, and you had a wonderful talent of surprising him when he least expected it. This was no different. Once again, you surprised him, this time with something philosophical-sounding he didn't really understand but wanted you to explain, if only to hear your sweet voice again.

'What do you fight for, if not for love?' You said, your soft smile lifting the corners of your lips and lighting something in the back of Levi's hollow eyes. 'Not necessarily the love you have for a person,' you continued absently, eyes roaming his face. 'But maybe the love you have for the world, or the familial love you have for your comrades. I know people say they fight out there because it's their duty, but really, it all comes down to love in the end.'

He swallowed thickly, hooked on your words and your voice like an addict was to his drugs—telling himself to turn away, even though deep down, he knew he could never go back to the way things were before.

'Loving doesn't make you weak,' you murmured, gaze now pouring into Levi's as he looked up at you, his thumbs rubbing small, soothing circles into the material of the shirt covering your waist. 'It makes you human. And to be human is to be foolish.'

His tongue darted out to wet his lips before he parted them, and blew out a soft breath.
'Then,' he said quietly, eyes never leaving your face as his hands gently pulled you closer, your arms slowly circling his neck as he did the same with your waist. Your head ducked to softly brush your mouth on his thin, awaiting lips. His eyelids fluttered, and he gathered you against him before slanting his mouth across yours. 'Let me be a fool.'

‘A fool in love makes no sense to me. I only think you are a fool if you do not love.’ - Unknown

Contest entry for:

Soo this doesn't feel like my best, but I hope people enjoy it all the same. It's more focused on Levi's emotions more than anything, so don't be disappointed it you expected fluff!

Attack on Titan (c) Hajime Isayama
Story (c) Me!
You belong to Levi.

Picture found here